Rants and Lessons from South East Asia

Throughout the time I've spent in South East Asia, I've learned a lot of lessons. Some of which I'm too embarrassed to proclaim to all, but there are some in which I think some may benefit from.

My whole life I've been a dreamer. I love thinking about all the places I've never been and the things I have to do and see. I've just always enjoyed traveling and all that comes with it. Adventure! Excitement! Pictures! People! And so on...

Before I got married I thought that marriage would tie me down and that I'd never get to do and see all the neat things this World has to offer. I feel like people and the media tell you, "once you're married, it's all over." Even the message in "Eat, Pray, Love" is that you can't find yourself unless you're "free." Which, is a Huge Lie.

I traveled a bit over North America with my Family before marriage, but it wasn't until after I got married that I really started to go places. It all came due to my Husband's job. Every year he has the opportunity to earn a trip with the company he works for. Which for me, has been a huge blessing, because I love to go places. It just shows me that God cares not only about my basic needs, but also the desires of my heart.

The next great lie that people, and media tries to feed you is, "once you have kids, you're tied down like a dog to a chain." But since we were blessed to have our son, we've just started bringing him along with us on all our trips. I've never once felt like he tied me down from doing what I want to do with my life. Wether I want to go somewhere, learn something, or do something I just adjust my schedule accordingly.

I guess, I subconsciously changed my priorities once I had Thor. He hasn't made me feel "tied down" because I became less selfish once I had him. My world revolved around him (and James), yet he lives in my world the way I want my world to be. It all just blended together in a perfect balance. I can still be me, but he's apart of my every moment, everyday.

I think another lie that comes from having children is that people look at stay at home Mother's as unaccomplished nobody's who chose the  "easy" road or "lazy" route. Many people label Homeschool Mom's and stay at home Mom's many things, but most of the things they are labeled as aren't seen in a positive light. People for some reason look down on stay at home Mother's. Yet "The hand that rocks the cradle, is the hand that rules the world."

Motherhood is the hardest job out there. No sick days. You're on duty and on call 24-7. You're the spiritual leader, teacher, disciplinary, chef, maid, groundskeeper, interior designer, etc. And you're the one and only Milk Producer in the home for all the new recruits (newborns). You have to sacrifice you're sexy hot body to stretch marks and flab just so that you can spend every day wiping bums, noses and sticky fingers.

Anyone who has never done it themselves, who diss on Motherhood are, to put it simply, extremely ignorant, and live a selfish and unfulfilled life.

Anyway, to stay on point, when we decided to come to South East Asia, we decided to not bring Thor. There were just too many dangers to bring him along. We talk to him via facetime twice a day, but as time wears on I'm missing him more and more. If we had decided to do just two weeks, no problem. Three, ... Ok. But we chose to do 5 Weeks! I guess I thought that if I wanted to come home sooner that we could pay $200 tops to get home sooner, but apparently airlines have gone out of control with their fees  and we literally can't come home early without paying $1,000!!! Yeah... I don't have that kind of money. We could have brought a third adult for that kind of money!

It literally makes me furious at United Airlines because I know that they can waive those fee's, but they refuse to because they WANT customers to ditch tickets so they can pocket billions each year. The only way out is for a dead Family Member or if THEY (the airline) cancel the flight. It's completely absurd. I just freaking want to go home 1 to 2 weeks sooner. I'm flexible for them, they need to be flexible for the customer.  

Lesson learned? You better not change your plans even with unforeseen circumstances unless you plan to pay financially for it.

And I guess I'm learning the hard way that 5 weeks away from my son was more than I thought I could handle. I think if I had to leave him again for a week during an anniversary or something would be fine, but I would recommend, when leaving children for vacation time to keep it under 3 weeks.

So, yes. You Can still travel when you have kids. With or without them. But you may miss them more than any pet you've ever left at home while you're away.

I thought that traveling was my "feeling of importance." That by seeing the world that made me somebody. That, that made me important because traveling meant that I was doing something with my life. I'm so great because I've been places, and I've done things. But I'm starting to think that there's minimal truth to that. Yes, I've been places, and done things but it's not about where I go or what I do. It's who I'm with. Without Thor here with us I feel a little more empty, and sometimes a lot more sad.

I've met all kinds of people here in Asia, and some are trying to find happiness through traveling while others are already happy, and have a family but travel for fun with their family. I guess from my perspective, the happiest traveler is the life traveler. The one who knows what life is really about before they get out of bed each morning, no matter where they may be. They know where their priorities lie, and are willing to make the tough choices even when the easy choice sounds more appealing.

It's easy to think only about yourself. It's easy to be selfish and live life with no responsibilities and the "freedom" to go and do whatever you want, whenever you want. But living the "easy" way, isn't a very fulfilling life. I mean, when you're living that life you think you're life is more interesting and great than anyone else's. But it's never going to bring you the joy you get from marriage and children. Where you're life becomes about others and not just about yourself.

To travel and enjoy life are both wonderful things. Because you can enjoy life even without traveling. But the happiest times you'll ever experience are the times that involve family. Especially the moments when you are forming and growing your very own family. Births, marriages, first steps, graduations, hugs and kisses and everything in-between.

P.S.
If anyone knows how we can get home sooner without the crazy fees it would be much appreciated.

Puerto Vallarta: The City

Welcome to PUERTO VALLARTA, MEXICO! The first week of November 2013, our Family spent a wonderful 7 days on the Pacific Side of Mexico, in Puerto Vallarta. It was fun to have some Family time in some warm weather. I would recommend visiting Puerto Vallarta at least once, if you're a frequent traveler, but to go back again and again? Probably not. This post has pictures from our day spent in the City of Puerto Vallarta. I felt safe taking Thor around, and wasn't too worried about theft. If you're looking to do some shopping in town to get "killer deals" you probably won't find too many inside the City. And the "flea Market" in town, ... I'm pretty sure all the shops are in it together to rip off the tourists. In the less heavily trafficked areas however, you'll actually get to barter! And you'll feel good when you're done because you'll actually get good deals. There are SOME places here and there IN the City where you can actually get good deals, but again, it has to be a less heavily trafficked area.

One great feature of the Greater Puerto Vallarta area is the Rolling Hills/Mountains of Jungle! It really is beautiful. If we didn't have Thor with us, I would have liked to venture out a bit more to explore the more remote areas and get a bit more taste of Culture. And possibly explore a little bit more of the Jungle. But either way, it was still great to view the mountains from our resort and from the beach. There's just something refreshing relaxing about viewing vasts amount of greenery, especially atop Hills and Mountains.

There are many large sculptures dotted along the Ocean in the City of Puerto Vallarta. We decided to Snap a few pics with these fun, beautiful and detailed works of art.

The Cathedral of our Lady of Guadalupe. It is Puerto Vallarta's most recognizable Cathedral due to the large blue crown that sits atop it's bell tower. Above is a shot of the inside of the building, we came during a mass meeting, so I didn't take as many of the photos inside as I would have liked too out of respect to the service going on. But the Cathedral is quite a landmark, and is worth a trip to town just to get a glimpse of it.

Thor was tuckered out by the end of the day in town. Traveling with a toddler is probably the most difficult age to travel with, but it really wasn't too bad in Mexico. I think with Toddlers there are places you can travel and still have a great time, but I definitely wouldn't take them any/everywhere. Having regular nap times in an air-conditioned room is a must when with a toddler. I mean, you can shift naps here and there or skip them a few times, but they should probably stick to the main meat of their nap routine (time) as much as possible, because traveling can cause overstimulation and tucker the little guys out. And I'd rather have a Happy Child rather than a Grumpy one.

Love Always,

Mrs. Fray Fray

Chore Chart

While James is Away Working, I've been living with with my expectant Sister-in-Law and her two girls. Zoe is 6, and Molly is 2. The Zoe has been sort of going through an "entitlement" stage. So ... to help her realize that she can't just get what she wants, whenever she wants it. And to learn that certain things are Privileges, and not Rights. We decided to make a Chore chart! That way, she learn the value of earning things, rather than getting them just because she wants them.

How it works:
On the chart she can earn points for certain tasks. The everyday tasks that she is expected to do are only worth one point each, and she has to do them without complaint to get the point. And the other tasks, depending on the task, are worth 2 to 3 points each.

We went out and bought items that she and her sister can earn when they earn enough points to receive an item. So ... They can See what it is they are trying to earn, but aren't allowed to get the item until they earn the point value written on the item. Each item is worth a different amount of points depending on wether we wanted it to be more difficult to receive the item, or easier.

Zoe, the 6 year old, recently lost her privileges to go Trick-or-Treating, and she also lost her birthday party privilege. But, we are going to have those privileges returned to her if she earns them back by reaching the designated amount of points.

How It's Built:
We went to Ikea and bought two Magnet boards and put them side by side. Then we wrote on a poster board the designated chores for each girl, The day of the week, and Their names above their section, we let Zoe help color and decorate the board. We made about 30 lines, for approx. 30 days for the month. We then took the poster board and had it laminated at Staples (they sent it out so it took a couple of days). Then we bought miniature magnets at Michaels and had the girls put small stickers on the magnets so that when they complete a task they can put a "sticker" on it! But, we don't have to re-make the poster board month to month, And we don't have to buy stickers All the time either. Re-usable, and cheap! Hooray!

The Prizes:
We decided to not just do Any prize they wanted All the time. I mean, it's ok to get them something "special" to reach every now and then. But we mostly stuck to books and arts and crafts this time. One's that THEY wanted. That way they can still use their creativity, or be excited for learning. Each child is unique, so try to play towards things your child is gifted at, or is interested in.

I hope this was helpful, and I hope my explanation made sense. Write any questions or comments you have below! Have a Pretty day!

Love Always,

Mrs. Fray Fray

Hoarder : The Cleanup

Well, ... I promised to show the interior of the home, so here it is. Since I feel that I did a lot of explaining in the previous post, I think this post I'll explain photos/go into greater depth with the photographs. Mostly, I'm just giving you a glimpse of what the place looked like when we first walked in (after cleanup had already occurred the weekend before). I don't have a wide angle lens, so the shots aren't as full view as I'd like them to be, but ... you get the picture.

James' Dad had horses, so here are some shots of the room that had all the bridles, ropes, etc. He was also very into leather work, knife making & Music.

We found
various types of musical instruments. Leather, leather, leather and more leather. Some pelts and fur, but mostly leather! And whenever we crossed paths with one of his knives we got a little excited. Mostly because they are pretty amazing knives! Some of his knives, that he made, could sell up to $400! But, ... we like them, not only because of the look and quality of the knives, but the sentimental value, that his Dad Made it. There is no way that we are going to sell, or toss his knives. They're just too awesome!

 

 

The fridge wasn't too bad. It was working when we arrived, and looked to have been working. Then we left and returned the next day and the Fridge had pooped out. O'well. I was sort of wanting a new fridge anyway. This one was just a tad bit too old for me. But

 the black and white photos of it does make it look quite good.

Photo to the left is the living Room. Photo to the right is the second bedroom. (Only two bedrooms).

These are just some shots we got of the inside of the dump truck. We had ripped out the carpet in the living room, which had tile underneath.

You will never guess what we found under the tile. HARDWOOD! Not just any hardwood. It's an inch Thick! Literally! Apparently this home was built out of the leftovers of the famous "Prince of Whales Hotel" in Waterton! How cool is that!? A little piece of History right in our own little home. I guess technically, ... our First Home!

Finally! Here are some shots of the house After it had been cleaned out. We still have a lot of work to do to get it in better condition.

There is an addition on the back of the house that needs to be completely torn down. It's the cause of most of the mold/mildew in the air. The roof on it isn't keeping out the water and it's unsalvageable. But, that's ok. James says that we can tear it down and build a larger addition onto the back at a very low cost. He has the best connections ever.

 Photo of Things in Good Condition that we can give away or keep for ourselves.

 There are 5 of these beasts hiding on the property. We found 3.

Photo above is the living Room.

James is just working away. He's such a good hard worker. Love him!

 Garage

 Kitchen Almost cleaned

 Love Always,

Mrs. Fray Fray